4 Must-Know Practices for 2022
Actions and words of others arouse emotions from deep within us. We respond with our opinion. If we consider what we want to respond to inspiring, we engage with the world around us in a more positive light. How we express that reveals our true character. If we lead with love we are able to understand and measure how we respond to these moments. But how do we do that?
Human nature drives us to behave in ways which do not serve to allow the process of healing to begin.
I am a huge NFL football fan. Yesterday an incident happened with a player on the Tampa Bay Buccaneers team. Gifted wide receiver Antonio Brown had a meltdown on national TV in the middle of a game. It’s not clear what caused his meltdown. He did make it clear to all watching the game that he was upset, by stripping off his jersey and gear and throwing them in the stands. He then proceeded to exit the field and stadium in a very demonstrative way, creating a scene that ultimately would cause him to be released by the team and may have well ended his NFL Career.
When one witnesses such an event, there are two initial ways human nature causes us to respond. Social media affords us a glimpse into the character of those who choose to comment. It is a great lesson on how we as society handle such occurrences. Shouldn’t we ‘think’ before we speak? We often do not.
Instagram and Twitter were a-flurry yesterday and this morning on the subject. Many have views, as you can imagine. What strikes me is how quickly some choose to fire off negative remarks about the character of Antonio Brown, not realizing how they are tarnishing their own.
How often do we ignore the opportunity to be respectful in moments like these. Are we trying to make ourselves feel better? Ultimately if we’re not careful, our opinion may create a whole new set of circumstances that do not shed a positive light on who were are. This happens when we don’t take pause and consider the possible pain of the individual in question.
My dear friend, Michael Domitrz, Founder of the internationally recognized Center for Respect, calls for us to stop before responding and ask ourselves, “Am I leading with curiosity trying to understand with a foundation of empathy and compassion or am I leading with negative judgment?”
How do we do begin that work in ourselves?
Here are 4 Must-Know Love, Heart, Respect, Compassion, Positivity Practices for 2022 to guide us.
I offer the word LOVE as an acronym to guide us on the journey to responding to uncomfortable circumstances.
First, we must Listen to the individual’s heart as they speak, from our heart. Be curious. What words are they using? Do their words remind us of a time when we were hurting? How does information affect how we feel about that person?
Secondly, Observe how their Core Vulnerability is directing their behavior. Anger is the easiest emotion to access when we are challenged by pain. What moments of pain have we had which cause us to do things we later wished we hadn’t?
Value them. According to an article in Psychology Today, our behavior is directed by our personal sense of value. When one is challenged, it’s safe to reason they are in a state where they feel they are not valued in their present station of life. By showing them respect, letting them know we value them, and sharing our personal experiences of what they mean to us, we demonstrate how much we care.
With this knowledge we are now able to, and should, Embrace them with our compassion. Let them know we are present with them. They are not alone. Perhaps we have a personal story to share that mirrors theirs.
We at the Doug McDade Studio of the Performing HeArts would like to encourage and foster an attitude of growth that will impact those around us in a positive way. It's a discipline which must be practiced daily. Lead with Love. Be ready to Listen, Observe, Value and Embrace every situation. Give yourself pause to see the heArts of others in joy or in pain and take a moment to feel their energy. When you do, your heArt will coax you on how it wants you to respond.
Let them know, with your understanding, your LOVE is unconditional.
Doug McDade
